Programming is not easy so if you expect to learn even basics in few days then forget about programming lol.
If you are serious about it then be prepared for a lot of reading,a lot of studying and a lot of testing lol.
I remember when I started long time ago.I thought it was easy,but of course I was wrong.It is actually pretty hard especially if you want to make good software all by your self.Not to mention that you must know computer hardware and software in general pretty good if you want to be a VERY good programmer.
In the beginning it will be very hard and you won't understand anything.But don't let that to beat you and just don't give up and keep trying and studying and one day you will start understanding the logic of programming and from then on everything will be easier.
Bob Tabor would tell you the same thing lol.
I always say:"Those who give up easily and fast will never learn anything about programming.Those who never give up and keep trying like hell will one day become good programmers."
I personally like C# and C++ a lot,but I recommend you to start with VB since it's syntax is very easy and understandable.
You can download Visual Basic Express 2010 from Microsoft's WEB site.
Also buy yourself a good beginning book for VB such as this one:
http://www.amazon.com/Visual-Basic-...35/ref=sr_1_26?ie=UTF8&qid=1320899605&sr=8-26
There are also other a lot more advanced books from let's say...Joseph Mayo of about 800 pages.But don't buy those since you won't understand anything if you do not learn basics and little more than that first.If you jump to those advanced books immediately,you will give up immediately since you won't understand the book at all lol.
If you need any help feel free to ask me or anybody else who knows programming too.
Good luck!